The Litany Of Fear

What have I become? I am a bloke, a balding fat bloke-single, dissatisfied with life, unloveable, no charisma. I appear to be obsessed with pints. Before long I'll be a quiz league staple, I'll be working for a vending machine firm in Glenrothes, I'll go to see Fife Flyers every week, I'll re-evaluate the music of Bruce Davies/Andy Ramage, I'll make it my life's goal to make it to see Catfish Keith at the spiritual home of pub rock that is The Bein Inn in Balfarg, I'll start wearing leather jackets and thinking of the days I saw Uriah Heep at the long gone Apollo, I'll get into ganja tho I'll call it 'doobie', I'll never leave the kingdom...I'll I'll I'll...must break the mould...goin oot for grog is strangely appealing to a lazy run doon mind like mine with it's hints of memorable nights and fellowship and excitement and and and...fuck man what's it all about?!