Who the fuck are they?

...and who are The Oxford Collapse? Are they the Sammy of their day? Do they have shaggy hair? or are they chunky wee guys frae the weedge who like Ride? Are they more than a contrived nimm? Do they all love scuffed girls wi freckles? Do they know the drummer oot of Les Ferdinand? Are they all degreed persons? Have they seen a 3 legged dog? Have they drank Erridge Vale? Have they been penniless in Gorgie? Have they had crushes on girls in silly hats? Are they from Poughkeepsie? Are they important underground figures? Have they ever shat in a urinal? Have they punched face? Have they sat next to neddy wee bastards in Interweb Cafes? Have they been lost in France? Have they been on gap years? Have they failed in Wales? Have they walked down a street free of suggestion? Have they ever said "it's hot in here' on stage"? Have they ever ate nothing but beans and noodles for 6 months? Have they ever opened tins o' Super Lager when they're on their ain? Have they ever been on their ain? Have they ever given up on us baby? Have they ever thought that they might be writing lines that could be misconstrued as outtakes from Space B-sides?