Botham Whither Richards

Sunday Sunday...had what almost turned into 'one of my migraines' earlier. When I was a callow youth I used to get these extremely nasty migraines. These days I occasionally get something not quite as bad tho' similar where I have a splitting headache and feel hellish queasy. There is a distinct possibility I'll barf. I didn't on this occasion but it still wasn't too pleasant. Nasal congestion often sets it off as does sleeping too long. Had my first lie in in some time today and paid the price for it. My sinuses appeared to have collapsed as well. It's settled doon a bit now but I still have the dull ache thing going down. Oddly fitting for a Sunday- the nagging pain before the strangulated hernia that is the week. Bit of work heaviosity on Tuesday. We're having a series of 'HR interviews' to 'solve' the supposed issues which are afflicting our workpliss at the moment. I have no confidence that me and my colleagues will be listened to. The dude who's coming to see us strikes me as nowt more than a head office enforcer who's coming to 'sort things out'. I just can't be hacked with this type of bullshit. I seem to have ended up working for an employer with a top heavy management structure. I get the vibes that a management v. staff 'discussion' will never happen on an even playing field. I know as a default I fear the worst anyway but I feel a bit shitty about this week. IMO the only problems at my work come from management trying to gain control of a staff team who have worked naturally in a fairly autonomous and co-operative fashion for some time. The 3 support workers work well together but difficulties arise whenever needless interference or formality is imposed. I'm just no' a person who likes to recognise the idea of 'authority'. If folk are on a 'higher' level than me than I might look to them for guidance, supervision etc. I don't feel as if I have to bow down to 'authority' or not challenge it if I disagree with it tho' and I'm not sure this type of management works that way. I suspect it's all about suits and authority and 'working lunches'...anyway...Off Thur-Sun this coming week which would be ok if I had any money or any imagination(!). This may mean that I have to stay in or wander the streets!! This flat is not a pliss I enjoy being in. It's a tiny squalid hole in a rather dull, tired neighbourhood. Jeez I'm getting Reznor on yo' ass tonight- I'M IN PAIN etc etc etc...I wish folk would accept me giving them tortured chic all all day. It must be a given for the sons and daughters of surgeons/solicitors to have their bleatings instantly accepted and listened to as if they were revealing the mystery of life to you. My bleatings dinnae have quite the cachet or so it seems. Maybe I could get into eyeliner or attempt a doctorate on tubeworms. Aye debt wise I'm going to open up a new a/c the morn and try to juggle certain things around for a while following the advice o' a debt counsellor. I don't intend to end up in the dock but I have got masel in a stupid amount of debt. I'm not a greedy person...he pleads...but I do get a wee bit indignant re working v.v. hard full time and then still being skint. Thanks to the wage structure where I work this is reality so I attempted to compensate and somehow find 'disposable cash' by taking on large amounts of cairds and a loan. I am indeed a stupid man but I still can't face the prospect of having nothing in my pocket to do semi-pleasurable things. Christ I'm going Tamara Beckwith now. I think I should move off debt for a post or 2! Aye I'm going through changes alright...whither a change in my body shape?! ha ha...