Not That Flamboyant

You say you should have done it when your brother died. I leave you to your own devices. Thoughts batter away at us both. What am I thinking about? Whatever they are, my thoughts are no less damaging than yours. You never get to give in or to fail. Romanticised. People bellow at you. You're deaf. Vibration only partially drowned out. Left in a middling flat. Scolded by naked electric light. Water is a conductor. You have acquaintances. No friends. Lazy people visit you. They come to drink red death on your setee. You treat all with good grace. People steal your money. You tell me jokes. You say it's a cruel world. Some people are good. Some are but they can be elusive and are often busy being good in other settings. You tell me about John Payne...not Wayne. You think you've been idle. You say that that idle hands work for the devil. You ask my opinion on actors. You ask if I've ever been paranoid. I suddenly see myself as Reznor and want so badly to say "If only you knew". You want a sense of achievement. You want to be recognised. It's a crime that you can't recognise it yourself. I admire you. You've survived. I might not. I won't forget you.

For DT