Ronnog + Bleak

So, the morning after the nicht before. Wake up without hangover but with plenty of the maudlins still hanging around. Tried not to think of the way I felt last thing last night and it did work after a while. The presence of live cricket on TV cannot be underestimated as a factor in keeping the poison down. I suppose strictly speaking watching sport is just another waste of time but I can safely say to cricket that, hey man, "you're my favourite waste of time" (It took a fair bit of contriving but to get an Owen Paul reference in to something I wrote has been an ambition of a lifetime!!). Watching cricket has never seemed like a waste of time to me. I think I've loved the game since birth and a lot of the time I'm in the hoose I'll spend it flicking through cricket stats (I'm not joking!!). Anyway, I'm going to move on before I start to feel that I am in fact nowt more than another faceless contender for Polyglot Of The Year or Chorister Of The Decade. AARGH. Had a few dodgy moments today and my mind was prone to drift me into a' the bad shit I get up to- wastefulness, lazyness, sloth, greed, envy etc etc. I had an arrangement with KB to pop through to Kirkcaldy this afternoon. I ended up going tho' I had to force masel, mainly because TLK's pal had vaguely suggested we might meet up this afternoon. I didn't expect it to happen but seemingly naturally the mad side of the brain took this as a cue to start getting desperate to see TLK and to force out thoughts of doing anything else on the vague chance of being in the same room as her for a wee while. Even if we did meet up drunkenness would have ensued and I would have had a' thae muddled, empty vibes and tangled vines that often come when drink, my'weaknesses' and TLK get combined. I forced masel to purge these thoughts and headed through to Fife. The clincher came when I saw the amount of rugger buggers who were hanging around the west end prior to the game at Murrayfield. EVERYWHERE you looked there were middle aged solicitors called Magnus in kilts and Barbours- hip flasks at the ready- and chunky Frenchmen wearing Tricolours from head to toe. The sheer volume of folk drove me out of the city and on to the bona fide 'Cultural Chernobyl' that is Fife. Kirkcaldy gets me down as soon as I enter the pliss- no nice facilities for coffee or for contemplation, just many many pubs and kebab shops. The fact it was a grey, chilly sorta day didn't help but damn Kdy wasn't looking good- dead shops and sleepy Sunday people (not sleepy in the beautiful shaggy haired big city style just in a monged brainwashy vein) next to..well...next to nothing really! I have a million bad memories of these towns. IMO the dearth of any sense of life or adventure in these places - folk only think of pubs as arenas for entertainment and nobody bats an eyelid to any great degree when leisure facilities shut down. People power is not the done thing here. Fifers seem to accept any closure and just stay in and watch the telly even more. This town really did damage my health, I'm sure of it, but of course I have to quote old Gibbard when he says " I think that it's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will give a new perspective" Aye maybe life and location is/are what you make it/them, it just doesn't quite seem as simple as that. Ya dig? I'm sure I'll tell you more about Fife at a later date...BTW...feel free to request my opinions on anything!!!! I'm happy to consider all requests for my wisdom on selected topics!!! I'll do my best to answer anything....aye...anyway...met KB and did the usual KDY stuff- characterless coffee shop, wander for a while hoping something will come up, dodge the thousands of schemie bastards that block yer path, ponder on why the people accept life in a town like this, think you know the answer, get fed up, want to leave after you've been here for 5 mins. Seeing KB was great tho'. We had a further talk on TLK matters and I pledged to masel that I will try and get further distance from me, her and pints. I also agreed to reconsider starting the diet. We sat in KB's hoose and I fell asleep for a while! Not sure what was up with that. I always miss KB when I leave and usually feel kinda down on leaving the pliss that I've been desperate to leave for the duration of the afternoon! Got the train home- it broke down and had to get towed to Haymarket! The bourgeoisie on the train got politely annoyed at the dashed inconvenience of it all. I got very annoyed at the dashed complacency of all of them...anyway...got hame...drifted aboot a bit..forgot aboot the diet...ate Pringles....started to get down and alone...thought about phoning the Samaritans...didn't see the point...wanted to eat more food...don't want to go to work tomorrow..wish I wasn't me...wish I had a bigger 'bannet'... thought about going to the bridge but then reckoned the train would probably break down en route...night...