Have you got any more cartridges?

So aye the Friday vibe. Maybe 'you lot' start to get excited at the prospect of the weekend and of cuddling up tae yer 'other half' with the increasingly ever present 'nice bottle of wine' on Fri night, of traipsing through BHS and going to Mamma Mia's Pizzeria on Saturday followed by Garden Centres , Afternoon Jam sessions at Twattinnas and dropping off in front of 'Family Fortunes' on the Sun. Aye you nubiles, you've never had it so good. Us lumpy ones have far fewer patterns to follow. This particular leaden pall tends to work at the weekend so Dobbies, Lambrini and Joe's Band don't get much of a look in. I don't get the 'cuddles' (I fucking hate the use of the word in that context. Go log on to a dating site if you want to see what I mean) that you get as a given either. I have to put up with 'ma ain company' in all it's cadaverous form. ...Ma mind's digressing. If only the horticultural chain of Sunday torpour was named after Captain Dobey instead? Well that would be different. Come and have a weekend in Cowdengelly with Bernie Hamilton. I would like that. In fact that'll be the concept for my next serious on UK Living. McLuckie and his Massive Belly spend time in shite Fife towns with obscure/long lost celebs. How 'bout a few jars of Sweetheart Stout in 'Clem's' wi' Kim Mayzelle/ A white pudding supper at Toby's Fish Bar, Thornton with Carl Lumbly or Macaroni Cheese at The Lister, Chinatoon wi' Patricia Brake. Anyway, what am I trying to say? Not quite sure....I think I'm aware that the weekend maybe holds a fair bit o' oomph if you've got some one tae spend it wi' but a guid bit less so if you don't or is that just me being an erse again? I'm reeling into schtick territory certainly. I am off this weekend but impending financial meltdoon may begin to restrict ma 'social life' or the amoont o' fillims I go to/ pizzas I buy and so forth. Looked at my bank a/c yesterday and realised what I had to pay out in d/d's for the rest of the month. It's not looking good. I'm going to have to borrow from somebody or attempt to gain more credit. Yes, I know it's stupidity. I phoned the debt counsellor yesterday but I'm not seeing her until next Fri. I paid off the overdue amount owing on a telly that I bought a while back. This has stopped the 0870 calls. The 0800 calls continue apace. Most of my credit cards are registered at another address- the last pliss I stayed in Kirkcaldy. I didn't do this in a 'crimes of dishonesty' way. I just couldn't be bothered changing them over. Don't think they've got my phone number and the redirection I had on ma mail has just expired. I'm not going to answer the phone without 'taking advice' so I won't hear from them 'til the counsellor makes contact to plead for a rejig o' the payments unless they send the heavy squad to the door. I should not jest. Think the 0800 no. is probably ma old bank. I had a loan with them which is not getting paid. I had one o' their credit cards too as well as an overdrawn amount on ma a/c. No wonder they're chasing me. I owe them most of the 50 G's. Shit. I've suddenly started giggling. I feel a bit like a confidence trickster writing this all down. Call me the Paul Bint of Gorgie/Dalry. I've never intended to defraud anyone or con cash out of them. I've just been rather 'irresponsible' wi' my financial affairs!! (no shit..)... Cannae mind a lot about last night. Left Maisie's and ended up in the shithole. Gorged on fatty foods late at night as ever and then watched mair of 'The Last Picture Show'. It was great ie the latter if not the former tho' in all honesty the former had something going for it too. Crashed out early. Had a lengthy sleep but still felt shattered. The weather was awful early on. Very cold. Wet. Raw and damp. This did not help ma mood. There was a total change round about 2-ish and it genuinely did get 'Bryter Layter'. This connection cheered me until I remembered that TLK likes Nick Drake too. I can mind discussing the BL LP at length with her. Whenever I spoke with her about ND I would end up feeling as if I was deeply deeply in love with her. It was a nice buzz for a while. This connection weirded me out. Of course 5 mins after this TLK visited the office. She seemed cheery again. She came down to return a works phone she had lifted by mistake. She brought it in and said " There's your fucking phone". It was a joke but I didn't laugh. Spoke with her re a wee gaffe I'd just made. The cheeryness ebbed slightly. She seemed to be forcing hersel to smile. She went off. She said cheerio. I didn't reply. She came back with something and said cheerio again. I didn't reply this time either. Maybe not that cool but I didn't appear to be able to bring myself to do it. I'd thought earlier re txting her about some news frae the work. I didn't do it. It seemed too 'friendly'. I didn't know what mode she would have been in when she took the txt. This fucked with my head. It might have been seen as me 'trying to be friendly'. I didn't want to come across as that. I know that she wouldn't have thought to tell me about it but she would have told KS. I thought better of it and didn't bother telling her. She'll find out soon enough. This exchange got me down again. I'm so angry at her but at the same time I would jump at the chance to spend time with her and chat even tho' that would mess me up even more. What does she think about me? Does she think about me at all? Does she think like how I've described? or is she genuine/consistent after all? I find it impossible to tell. I don't know how to read her. I'm sure many folk over the years have been described as 'complex'. IMO there is 'complex' and then there is TLK but of course I'm probably wrong..am I? FUCK...Work was quiet today. Dull. I was lethargic. Couldn't get into it. After I left it seemed wrong to be experiencing sunshine and warmth. I'll bet the more normal of you nubiles are getting the 'barbies' out as I write this. I really envy normal folk. That's not a joke. At the start of my 3 days off I'm thinking about being somewhere other than here and of being someone else. That would be nice. Or at least I think it would.