Save Me A Saturday Night

Christ it's turned into one of those nights where my mind starts racing and running wild. I am currently obsessed re the fact that I 'displayed weakness' by allowing my schtick for using exclamation marks to resurface. I can't get it out of my head that I went overboard with the bloody things or even just happened to use them a few times. They represent the bad old days to me. I try to express everything by exaggerating or distancing masel from it all wi' nowt but a wee extra character at the end o' it. It's not the way I should be thinking but sadly this is exactly the way I operate. Christ I feel oddly exposed as useless and shit just because I went back to using these things. I feel as if I've just become aware of what you've known all along. My shiteness has hit me full on. It's no a nice feeling, even if it's something I'm all too aware of. AARGH. I could have went to see Death Cab For Cutie tonight, instead I'm worrying about extraneous and 'telling' use of grammar. 'Everything was closed in Coney Island'. More like...everything needs to be shut down inside McLuckie. 'Little' things always fuck you up man...and that's before I even mention my willy. Even if I don't mention it I'm always thinking about it, I can assure you. The bona fide absurdity of my life...if only I could use exclamations, that somehow wouldn't be as self pitying...or at least not through my eyes...shit...