My Mum Had 'Desiderata' On Her Wall

I don't know what I am. I know that I saw The Presence and you saw The Sun And The Moon. I know that I've never met Martin 'Fiddly' Bell. I don't know how I tick. I don't know if I'm liked. I don't know how long I'll last. I know I don't leave an impression. I know I'm not exciting. I know that by any standards I have 'a big gut'. I know I'll never wake up next to anyone. I know I can't make the grade. I know that many people have said to me 'I want to help you Roland'. I know I'm not conventional enough. I know I'm not unconventional enough. I know I don't say 'waver' instead of 'wafer' tho' I wish I did. I know that I frequented 'The Dutch Mill' once before it burned down for the second time. I know that I saw Dennis lying in his coffin in Cardenden. I know that I've 'been in love' just the once. I know that I've never been loved. I know that my gran nearly set her house on fire. I know that my uncle broke my dad's jaw in 1986. I know that I was 'up by' in 1986. I know that I went mad in 2002. I know that I have a sense of fairness. I know you don't think much of me. I know I don't dress in a certain way. I know that causes me a lot of problems. I don't know if I will live past 40. I don't know how I'll cope. I know I won't die 'on the job'. I know I'll never appreciate Mogwai. I know I won't sire any 'bastards'. I know I won't be a spunk. I know that I'll flap around a lot. I know that I'll waste too much time. I know I'll get it wrong. I know I won't make 'a difference'. I know that 'everything I learned has been burned'. I know that I can remember a lot of things. I also know that I'll never do anything about them.